Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
