Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
