i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
