Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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