i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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