after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
