gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
