Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
