Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
