I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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