mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
NoShamevember. You game?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
