i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
