Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
