We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
