so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
