every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
