Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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