My nipple is on Facebook.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
