I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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