yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
