dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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