If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize