She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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