you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
