so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i just had sex bonerless
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize