Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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