is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
