the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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