Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
