If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
