I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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