When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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