I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
