In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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