Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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