Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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