i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
birth control should be required to get into college
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
