i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
