I CAN MOONWALK!
You can't special order awesome
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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