I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
