we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
