handjob tips. give me some.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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