I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I love you.
Bad choice
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