Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
