Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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