Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
