How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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