Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
