I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
