I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
