Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
