yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
