I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
