Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
