He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
