she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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