Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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