she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
