Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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