There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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