I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
