Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
