He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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