i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
