no, he came in my armpit
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
