dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
