the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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