they need to just BURY HIM!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Randomize
